It’s how we Tube

 

Some more Megan Beech.
(to be read in a single breath)

Snogging on the Circle Line

Sitting trying not to stare on the train at the chain of saliva, vein-like and pale, with as many twists
and turns as this underground rail.
Snogging on the Circle line, they should implement a fine.
I mean I’m fine with public affection shown in moderation but begin to lose my patience.
Is he giving her resuscitation?
No tongue seperation in almost FOUR TUBE STATIONS!
And their performance doesn’t stop as we come to a stop,
a parade of people getting on whilst they’re getting off.
PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING JAWS
that open again as her throat he explores, in inconstant drips of fluorescent light,
adolescents laugh and mothers overt children’s eyes.
The carriage continues to rattle in rush hour, with a background sound of suction which makes
strangers glower.
Peer past the pages of the Metro and pray the passion fades as the train begins to slow.
The gap they’ve created they don’t seem to mind,
as they step off and head towards the London night.
Their lust escalates as on the escalator they stand,
smug smiles, linked limbs and hand in hand.
Beaming believing the world is their Oyster
card.
In future they should use taxis or tandems or tinted windowed cars!

***

And in the spirit of Tube love…here’s some renegade humor from Stickers on the Central Line who have made many a harried Central line commuter smile. They’ve been quiet for a while but I wish them a speedy return and maybe a move to the Piccadilly line for a change.

Tube maps are surprisingly shy. While it’s nice to feel appreciated, few want tourists gawping at them all day.
‘Tube maps are surprisingly shy. While it’s nice to feel appreciated, few want tourists gawping at them all day.’

During quieter hours on the 7th day of each month, a 3.5 minute rave is held between Woodford and Buckhurst Hill. If you’re quick there’s just time to down a pint and dance to a song. Unfortunately since Boris Johnson decided to ban alcohol on the tube, such raves have been pushed underground.
‘During quieter hours on the 7th day of each month, a 3.5 minute rave is held between Woodford and Buckhurst Hill. If you’re quick there’s just time to down a pint and dance to a song. Unfortunately since Boris Johnson decided to ban alcohol on the tube, such raves have been pushed underground.’

tumblr_lkhksxZSbJ1qjvzqlo1_1280‘Alcohol’s heaviest user is humans. But it is also widely used by crabs, which is why they walk so funny. Unfortunately for Alcohol there are less dedicated consumers, like frogs and dolphins who prefer cocaine.
After a tiring day of rolling back and forth, transporting the workers of London, the Central Line likes nothing better than to kick back with a few cold ones. Occasionally it turns into a bit of a lashing, and it doesn’t function quite so well the next day, sometimes not even bothering to turn up! It happens to the best of us though, and we always forgive it.’

And finally…

A Shepherd’s Pie is very easy to make, and, its topping of fluffy, creamy mashed potato covering succulent hot mince, vegetables and gravy oozes flavour! This isn’t just a Shepherd’s Pie however. This is a well designed, shiny, self adhesive Shepherd’s Pie coming soon to a Central Line train near you.
Gas mark 4, says it all.

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